urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey i swear i'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed. cheer_up_honey 2006-08-12T05:52:43Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:46415 2006-08-12T05:52:43Z 2006-08-12T05:52:43Z new journal, finally.<br />sweetlyaroundme.livejournal.com<br />i could link you, but i wont.<br />:] urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:46230 2006-08-06T08:36:11Z 2006-08-06T08:36:11Z <b>provacative & talkative</b><br /><br />i still want a new journal, but i'd feel bad wasting time doing that and not reading the scarlet letter.<br />but i can, you know, post real quick after watch final destination 3.<br />even though i've only read 100 pages since wednesday.<br />i actually really like it.<br />it's just not something i can focus on for too long.<br />tomorrow, starting at noon, there is a gilmore girls marathon. [UHH, YES.]<br />i'm going to watch it.<br />i'll read a lot at some point before, after, and/or during commercials.<br />yes, i promise. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:45834 2006-08-01T07:27:36Z 2006-08-01T07:27:36Z happy august 1st everyone.<br /><br />god, how much do i not want it to be august 1st?<br />like so, so much.<br />august is a dumb month. i would take any other month but august.<br /><br />i really do want to be sleeping right now, but i slept until three in the afternoon today.<br />and well, i'm sure i won't be able to sleep until at least three this morning.<br /><br />i want a new journal.<br />be expecting it when i have the energy to make one.<br /><br />love. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:45678 2006-07-28T01:24:06Z 2006-07-28T01:24:30Z it is so about who ends up with whom.<br /><br />yes, that was the wrong ending.<br />but it was an ending, so i can't do anything about it.<br />six years of will-they-won't-they.<br />apparently, they won't.<br /><br />[i finished dawson's creek-- the entire series. it took a year, but my life is a little more complete now. ] urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:45434 2006-07-26T05:17:02Z 2006-07-26T06:08:35Z <b>how bizarre, how bizarre.</b><br /><br />today, my mother and my sister took myspace pictures.<br />i can't even express my feelings on the subject,<br />except to say that it makes me uncomfortable.<br /><br />i was watching reno 911.<br />they said that they were that family who would kill each other for pizza & something about it being fucked up for real.<br />well, i know the feeling.<br /><br />on a totally different note,<br />college.<br />okay, i know i have a lot time to stress over this, but the subject came up the other day. <br />my mom apparently thinks that i should go to UT knoxville because it's a very nice school and town.<br />i nearly cried.<br />i really don't want to go to school here.<br />obviously, it's what we can afford.<br />and it's a long story, but i've been put in an awful position by my school and the fact that i moved here the day before i started highschool. because i didn't take the right classes freshman year, i can't take the right classes now. <br />which means no scholarships for me.<br />and as much as i want to be somewhere familiar, i know i need out.<br /><br />i don't want summer to end. i can't go back to school.<br />not my school.<br />if i'm just going to end up at a state college practically in my backyard, is it really worth the trouble?<br />g.e.d?<br /><br />[yeah, i wish.] urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:45203 2006-07-22T18:10:37Z 2006-07-22T18:10:37Z sometimes, i feel like sleeping myself to death.<br />just, nap and nap and nap forever.<br /><br />yeah, wouldn't that be nice. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:44872 2006-07-20T20:23:33Z 2006-07-20T20:24:34Z so,<br />i will soon be the driver of a station wagon.<br />ha. how ridiculous.<br />who came up with the station wagon?<br />they were real dumb.<br />anyway.<br />as far as i know, the car will soon be here. <br />do i have to wait till i get a report card and get another form filled out to get my license? hmm.<br />i think my dad's going to pay for insurace, at least mostly.<br />that's something i really don't feel bad about because he hasn't had a job for like a year, and therefore hasn't sent any sort of money at all.<br />and this isn't really the first time that's happened.<br />anyway, i'm pretty happy about the whole thing.<br /><br />has anyone seen a scanner darkly?<br />i want to see it, but i'm skeptical about the whole weird animation thing.<br />i love summer movies. <br />theaters are so cold and dark, which is wnderful because outside is so bright and hot.<br />it's kind of perfect.<br />i saw pirates 2. <br />uhh, i pretty much had been waiting forever for kiera knightly/elizabeth to kiss johnny depp/captian jack.<br /><br />i got my class schedule for junior year today.<br />it's all screwy [of course], so i'll have to go and try and change it.<br />or at least get out of chemistry, but i don't know if that's possible because i signed up for it. <br />i want to take ecology! what the fuck is ecology?! <br />who cares! it's not chemistry!<br />[i really really am not looking forward to any of this.]<br /><br />you know the pretty acoustic song in the clorox wipe commercial? with the little girl and her mom? i love that song.<br />i actually googled it and found that it's rob crow from pinback, but it's not really on a cd, it was written just for the commercial. <br />what a waste. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:44718 2006-07-18T22:44:22Z 2006-07-18T22:44:22Z <b>i can make you nice and naughty.</b><br /><br />confession:<br />i really like the paris hilton song.<br />stars are blind.<br />a lot.<br /><br />also, what's with this fair thing? is it a big deal?<br />it sounds dumb. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:44301 2006-07-12T03:49:37Z 2006-07-12T03:49:37Z <b>one, two, three, four, five, six, TWENTY-FOUR.</b><br /><br />i love anathallo.<br /><br />i am on this ridiculous sleep schedule where i don't go to bed until like 4 or 5 in the morning and sleep till like 2.<br />last night, i was up all night and around 10 in the morning i fell asleep.<br />i woke up at 5.<br />this needs to stop.<br /><br />friday, i'm going to st. louis for my birthday [on sunday...], which is something i kind of always do.<br />mostly because shopping there is better than shopping here and i have two passions in life:<br />music and clothes. [okay, not exactly, but both of those things are better in st. louis.]<br />i'll probably be back monday.<br /><br />so i have begun watching season 6 of dawson's creek, and i know that this is pathetic, but that means it's almost over.<br />i am afraid that i'll feel like sara said she did when she finished reading the animorphs series.<br />it makes me real sad.<br /><br />i've been reading this week, but not the scarlett letter.<br />the version of book i have is one of those "enriched classics" so it looks a whole lot longer than it is.<br />there's like a 50 page introduction and a bunch of note things at the end.<br />it makes it a lot harder to open up because it looks so intimidating.<br />[yeah, that's my best excuse.]<br />school starts in less than a month and i keep trying not to think about it, but i can't help it.<br /><br />despite all of that, i'm really in a great mood, i swear. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:44164 2006-07-07T05:27:38Z 2006-07-07T05:27:38Z <b>a man in the park read the lines in my hand.</b><br /><br />last night i called amelia, and it was the first time i'd talked to her in about two years.<br />it was funny and i wish she lived closer.<br /><br />today, i went to ruby tuesday's [i always feel strange going there because it has my name..] and i ate pretty average food along with my mother and sister and it was way way too expensive. <br />what i learned is that ruby tuesday is never worth it.<br />kind of like chinese buffets because i never eat enough to make the most of the $10 dinner and i don't even like it that much.<br /><br />elliot smith is a bit haunting.<br />okay, more than a bit. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:43910 2006-07-04T05:35:32Z 2006-07-04T05:35:32Z <b>when we kissed for the first time i was distracted.</b><br /><br />today i bought a copy of teen vogue, and in it i found an oversized chanel patent leather bag.<br />i'm sure it's like $2,000, but it's probably about the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.<br /><br />today is the fourth of july.<br />i feel like there should be a marathon of a really god tv show.<br />i've yet to see an advertisement for such a thing though.<br /><br />i really want to get out of clarksville badly. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:43762 2006-07-02T05:24:48Z 2006-07-02T05:24:48Z <b>dancing with myself</b><br /><br />that's what i'm doing right now.<br />as well as typing.<br />but i'm talented.<br /><br /><br />ohohoh ohhhhh. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:43396 2006-07-01T06:27:14Z 2006-07-01T06:41:22Z <b>old men with limp dicks</b><br /><br />since i can remember, my house has been cold.<br />no matter where i've lived, no matter what season, it's always cold.<br />i am freezing right now.<br />it is so sad.<br /><br />i saw superman returns today.<br />i really liked it.<br />kevin spacey is a funny man.<br />and it was cheesy and romantic.<br />which i love.<br /><br />my attention span is too short for books right now.<br />this week there has been much internet-ing.<br />and i kind of hate that, but what can i say.<br />also, lately i've only been able to listen to soft and/or poppy music.<br />or maybe i just like it more than other stuff in general.<br />the latter is probably more true.<br /><br />i eat like a little kid.<br />like i prefer chicken nuggets and mac&cheese and pb&j, to pretty much anything.<br />maybe it's just cause i'm too lazy to cook and all that stuff is easy.<br />actually, i do everything like a little kid.<br />i get excited about things and love like a five year old.<br />what's funny is, i don't even mind.<br /><br />my hair is very messy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:43252 2006-06-30T04:08:09Z 2006-06-30T04:08:09Z i just went to the open casket viewing for juan and thomas vasquez.<br />they were murdered here last friday.<br />i didn't know them at all, so i felt weird being there, but i guess teresa didn't want to go alone.<br />i'd never seen a dead person before, and when i got up to the caskets i got scared.<br />i don't even know why.<br />like, i'd never seen what it was like after a person dies.<br />their bodies were there, but <i>they</i> weren't.<br /><br />i think it was something i needed to see though.<br /><br />i've been thinking about the family since i found out.<br />i feel so bad.<br />it's hard to understand that something like this can happen.<br />tonight made me realize that it can.<br />what would drive someone to kill a father and his son?<br />i think the family deserves to know that.<br />but i know no one will ever really know why.<br />and, god, i can't imagine what that feels like.<br /><br />after the viewing there was a holy rosary prayer vigil--<br />another thing i've never experienced.<br />it was strange and interesting, but the whole time i was just so confused about why this happened and how someone can be expected to deal with it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:42507 2006-06-29T03:58:24Z 2006-06-29T04:00:09Z <b>between all i wish for and all i need</b><br /><br />an extension on last night's post:<br /><br />everyone who commented [i posted on lj and myspace..] said that basically god hates the sin, not the sinner, hell is not punishment and i shouldn't think of it that way, and that god forgives those that accept him and ask for his forgiveness, but not those who deny him or don't ask.<br />what about those who are confused?<br />such as me?<br />i have never denied god, but i struggle with faith in a big way.<br /><br />what about hell?<br />perhaps it's just a place without god.<br />which, if that is the case, can happen on earth.<br />and, obviously, after life as well.<br />maybe it has absolutely nothing to do with god at all but with the person.<br />like, i don't think god sends people to hell. maybe you get there on your own accord by not asking for god's forgiveness and letting him into your life.<br />i hope it's not forever though.<br />like, after death, can people realize that they are in this place-- hell-- because of their own decisions and that they need god?<br />and then, can god forgive them?<br />to me, it doesn't make sense for someone to be stuck in a place without god for eternity.<br />because life on earth is so short. and, obviously, there's life after death.<br />when you die is it too late to believe?<br /><br />lately, i have seen too many deaths and seemingly unfair things happen to good people.<br />and for a while, i just thought why would god do that to someone?<br />why would he punish certain people and not others?<br />i think now that god created the world and is an influence on it, but we also have free will. <br />we make our own decisions and god is there to help us with them. <br />but he is not the one that causes car accidents. he is not the reason for hurricanes and earthquakes that destroy thousands of lives.<br />these things happen because they <i>happen</i>, not because god wills it.<br />i don't think anyone can explain things like that; it's just part of nature.<br />we have to learn from it.<br />and maybe there's a reason for everything, but there's certainly no way to understand each one of those reasons.<br /><br />anyway,<br />i'm pretty ignorant, as far as these things go.<br />i'm just thinking, and if i didn't get it down somewhere i might explode. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:42337 2006-06-28T04:24:41Z 2006-06-28T04:40:28Z religion.<br /><br />i know these things:<br />god forgives.<br />god loves everyone.<br /><br />and by everyone, i include non-believers.<br />if you don't believe, i think god still loves you.<br />i think god will still forgive you of your sins.<br />i don't want to believe that he would send you to hell for being unsure of his existence.<br /><br />actually,<br />i know a loving, understanding, all-knowing being wouldn't punish people.<br /><br />that's why i have such a hard time believing.<br /><br />and i don't like when people say being gay and having abortions and having sex without a marriage license will cause bad things to happen to you, whether it be eternal damnation or some other form of punishment.<br />why doesn't god forgive them?<br />can you answer that for me?<br />because i think he does.<br />well, i don't really think god says those things are wrong in the first place. <br /><br />doesn't god support love in all forms?<br /><br />the bible, i think, is meant to guide you. it's there to be interpreted.<br /><br />it's not an instruction manual.<br /><br />teresa and i were discussing proverbs 6:16-23;<br /><br />[king james version]:<br />[16] These six things doth the Lord hate; yea, seven are an abomination unto him: [17] A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, [18] An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, [19] A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord amonth brethren. [20] MY son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of they mother: [21] Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about they neck. [22] When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. [23] For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life.<br /><br /><br />this is what was said:<br />onclevernapkins0 (11:29:07 PM): i don't think god hates...<br />onclevernapkins0 (11:29:35 PM): i mean that contradicts anything ive learned<br />hii i am teresa (11:29:38 PM): i dont think god is out to punish everyone that does wrong.<br />onclevernapkins0 (11:29:53 PM): yeah, i don't think so either.<br />hii i am teresa (11:30:02 PM): but thats kinda what we've been taught<br />hii i am teresa (11:30:10 PM): and it does contradict other things.<br />onclevernapkins0 (11:30:15 PM): that's confusing.<br />hii i am teresa (11:30:25 PM): thats why the bible is a very contraversial thing.<br />onclevernapkins0 (11:30:52 PM): all of those things that were listed in that proverbs verse i read on your lj... are HUMAN things. human mistakes, that god forgives...not that he hates.<br />hii i am teresa (11:31:09 PM): but it's what it says God hates.<br />hii i am teresa (11:31:18 PM): thats what i couldn't get.<br />hii i am teresa (11:31:35 PM): because if God hated those things.. so many people would supposedly be dammed.<br />onclevernapkins0 (11:31:47 PM): that's why i think it's wrong...<br />onclevernapkins0 (11:31:59 PM): i mean that verse is wrong..<br />onclevernapkins0 (11:32:34 PM): cause i've always learned that god doesnt hate. and all those things--everyone has done them.<br />hii i am teresa (11:32:42 PM): exactly.<br />onclevernapkins0 (11:32:47 PM): and if god didn't forgive them, they'd all be in hell.<br /><b>hii i am teresa (11:33:21 PM): everybody in this world would be in hell.<br />hii i am teresa (11:33:38 PM): because believers were once non believers and made mistakes.</b><br />onclevernapkins0 (11:33:59 PM): EXACTLY. i'm glad you understand. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:42215 2006-06-27T02:52:26Z 2006-06-27T02:52:26Z <b>sweet you rock and sweet you roll.</b><br /><br />i only like dave matthews band sometimes.<br />right now is one of those times.<br /><br />i have found that i say and do a lot of dumb things, but it's easier just to forget about it. i regret too many things, and it's not worth it cause other people don't usually remember them anyway.<br />i also fall for the wrong boy.<br />every time.<br />:]<br />i am not good at being a good person at home. <br />and i'd really like to bring lakeshore back with me, but it's hard because no one here understands how it is there.<br />clarksville is a fucked up place.<br />2 girls from my school got in a bad wreck the other day, and they were in critical condition the last time i heard.<br />a man and his son were murdered here on friday, and the father was some sort of hispanic rights activist.<br />i don't understand why things like that happen to some people, and here i am, fine as the day is long. [or short. you know.]<br /><br /><br />i just shouldn't think anymore tonight.<br /><br />[if you know what lyrics those are, i'll love you forever and after...if i don't already.] urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:41868 2006-06-24T21:02:49Z 2006-06-25T03:08:02Z <b>"I'M REAL LOST."</b><br /><br />i just got home.<br />the drive back from lakeshore was sad and awful, and once we got into clarksville and we were close to my house, this guy pulled out fast in front of us. we hit him, but it was his fault.<br />we got a ghettoass car now, and my mom won't do anything about it.<br />it's crazy. right when i get home bad stuff happens.<br />it's why i didn't want to come back.<br />i cried a lot of the way home.<br /><br />my head's all clogged from dirt and pollen and summer.<br />i started feeling bad last night, and today i'm sick and stuffy.<br /><br />this week could not have been any better, though.<br />sara and i bonded like crazy ladies.<br />if you were there and we didn't make fun of you for being real real weird, we will next time.<br />but seriously:<br />lazy river, lots and lots of food, worship, sweat, sun, tanlines!, lake, heat, tears, smiles, REALPRETTY, the dance, anne frank, awkward kids, crafts & danielle, "creative writing", crazy do-whatever-you-want-without-truett karaoke, heiwa, hills, bugs, rocking chairs, peace, and summer [edit: and COOKIES.]<br />=<br />lakeshore.<br /><br />i cried all through worship friday night and all through closing worship saturday morning.<br />danielle, sara, tommy, josh brown, and a bunch of other people hugged me and held me and didn't mind that i covered them with tears and snot. <br />and it made everything okay.<br />and the dance was awesome.<br />cause dancing makes me real real happy. haha. <br />andddd. the talent show. WHAT?! <br />the stuff that involved the guy rc's was super extra funny.<br />josh brown definitely got kissed on the face my tommy gall. it made my life.<br />and that guy so pulled out wolverine hands! omg. omg.<br />i was very confuzzled by some of the singers though. for serious.<br /><br />i miss it already.<br /><br /><br /><br />the problem with clarksville is that no one here goes to lakeshore.<br />everyone would be way better if they did. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:41628 2006-06-17T04:16:30Z 2006-06-17T04:16:30Z <b>and the bible didn't mention us.</b><br /><br />tomorrow:<br />haircut.<br />pool.<br />laundry.<br /><br />sunday:<br />packing.<br />lakeshore!<br /><br />my life is goood.<br /><br /><br /><br />but has everyone stopped talking to me? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:41262 2006-06-16T01:28:23Z 2006-06-16T01:38:21Z of montreal um, hi.<br />i'm not a nice person.<br />and i say not nice things.<br />so i'm sorry.<br /><br />and<br />i need a hurr cut.<br /><br />p.s.<br /><br /><img src="http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/6396/marvel.jpg" /><br /><br />loves it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:41085 2006-06-13T00:58:49Z 2006-06-13T00:58:49Z my entire house, particularly my room, smells of raid.<br />it's terrible.<br />spiders.<br />they're awful.<br /><br />governor's square mall is exhausting.<br /><br />i need to find a swim suit and bright green nailpolish.<br /><br />errrghoswyl;ksaer.<br /><br /><br /><i>and if you talk to jesus, ask him if he wants me to come home.<br />and if he says he's seen us changing all of his plans to suit our own,<br />will you apologize or stand by all the selfish moves we've made,<br />while learning life is strange and people change and circle round again?</i> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:40785 2006-06-08T23:26:16Z 2006-06-08T23:26:16Z <b>angels in your angles.</b><br /><br />i have three loves:<br />summer.<br />acoustic guitars.<br />coca-cola.<br /><br />[well, those are the most important loves, at least.]<br /><br />i want to remember my dreams because i have deja vu way too often.<br />this is something i have been thinking a lot about lately. <br />also, dogs:<br />i would really like to have one, but i think that its smell would keep me from cuddling with it, and since that is the main purpose of having a dog, it seems pretty silly.<br />something that is not silly, however, is the glockenspeil. <br />what a fantastic instrument.<br />haha.<br />i love life. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:40517 2006-06-08T06:05:45Z 2006-06-08T06:05:45Z <b>we will become a happy ending.</b><br /><br />i'm so happy right now!<br />music is amazing.<br />i want to make mix cds for everyone i know. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:40426 2006-06-07T04:23:09Z 2006-06-07T04:23:09Z <b>i got a brand new pair of roller skates.</b><br /><br />i am consistently creeped out by myspace.<br />and i am also very very behind as far as gilmore girls reruns go.<br />this is unfortunate.<br /><br />tomorrow it is important that i get out of bed and shower and do laundry.<br />...so my goals aren't high. my plans aren't big.<br /><br />speaking of.<br />oh my lord, someone told my mother that the chemistry teacher at my school is awful and mean and everyone fails and it brings down their gpa.<br />this means that she will call and change my schedule so that i take ecology instead of chem for my last required science credit.<br />mm. i knew it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cheer_up_honey:40021 2006-06-06T04:50:08Z 2006-06-06T04:50:08Z it was really nice to do nothing today.<br />i did a lot in memphis, but i can't exactly recreate it and type it all out here.<br />i had fun though.<br /><br />i am a pretty lucky person.<br />i just got to go to memphis and spend time with some amazing people. <br />and i leave for lakeshore in a couple weeks.<br />between now and then i get to use someone's pool while they are in europe.<br />i am about to watch the last 8 hours of desperate housewives season 1.<br />annnnnd the best part is:<br />someone my aunt massaged is giving her a car so it is very likely that i will get her old one.<br />it's a very ugly green station wagon, but it's an automatic. <br />i think she's going to have it looked at because it has some problems, but it can all probably be fixed. <br />it was so random though.<br /><br />i don't think anyone could understand how thankful i would be for something like that. <br />things just don't usually work out this way.<br />i'm really happy.